Recently I have been through a breakup which has made me feel very low and unmotivated. I spent almost 24 hours crying on and off afterwards but I knew it was something that had to be addressed because I was so unhappy with the way I was being treated. It was pretty clear he had given up on trying and that made me question my self worth as a human being which isn't how you should be feeling in a happy and healthy relationship. During the relationship I found myself withdrawn from social situations and as much as I tried not to fall into a black hole I knew I was slowly becoming submerged. Sometimes we avoid ending an unhappy relationship because the process can be quiet distressing and heartbreaking but it can also be life changing.....for the better. Sometimes there is nothing anyone can say or do that will you make you feel better. We sit there blaming ourselves and go over and over each situation and critique what we could have said or done differently. It really is exhausting! At the end of the day don't beat yourself up for feeling this way. Breaking up is a very similar to the process of loosing a loved one so it's normal to be exhibiting all sorts of emotions. In every bad situation there is a hidden message or an important life lesson So it's time we started talking about ways to make you feel fabulous as you once were. Here are some ideas to help you move forward and help keep your mind occupied!!
1. This first step is very important to you psychologically. Remove all reminders of him or her and put them out of sight.
2. Arrange a lunch or dinner with a friend or call a family member and vent your frustrations. It's all about moving on.
3. Don't call him or her unless it's absolutely necessary especially if your feeling vulnerable. Chances are it's only going to make you feel worse anyway and sometimes it's a step backwards in your recovery.
4. Play some power ballads that will uplift you like, "Ugly Heart" by G.R.L, "No More Drama" by Mary J Blige, "One Minute Man by Missy Elliot, "He Wasn't Man Enough" by Toni Braxton, "The Kill (Bury Me)" by Thirty Seconds To Mars, "So What" by Pink or "F*ck You" by Lily Allen or Cee-Lo Green. Nothing cleanses the soul more than music!!!
5. Dress to the nines. You may not feel like it but I call it power dressing. It sends a message to everyone out there that you are okay and what's better is if you look fabulous chances are you will feel fabulous.
6. Think about something you have always wanted to do. For example book that holiday with your girlfriend, bungee jump, get that piercing or maybe you can confront one of your fears. Just don't go too overboard with something which could be harmful to you or your body. Wait until you're in a better frame of mind and if your not happy then make that choice for yourself and not for a woman/man.
7. Get a new perfume. Scents can trigger a lot of painful memories so find a new signature scent which will make you feel unstoppable.
8. Remember you shouldn't have to change who you are after a breakup just because one person didn't like the package but if you have been thinking about a new hairdo maybe it's time to take the leap. Chances are it will boost your confidence and a change is as good as a holiday.
9. Have a beauty night! Go for a relaxing massage after work, visit a nail salon, take a bath, use an invigorating body scrub or put on some fake tan. Maybe you could even visit a day spa!
10. Become more active. Go for walk along the beach or head out for a jog. Recently I started going to social tennis once a week and I am also thinking about joining dance and yoga class.
11. When I was feeling at my lowest point I actually watched videos on Youtube about coping with breakups. I found them to be extremely helpful and uplifting.
12. Be a lady or a gentleman and always be the bigger person. Rise above the immaturity and don't respond if your ex is trying to manipulate you into feeling sorry for them. Don't enter into arguments and keep things civil (even if you're feeling hurt and angry). You don't want to make the separation process any more hurtful then it already is. Importantly you need to cut all ties as soon as possible. The longer your ex is on the scene pulling your heart strings the longer they prevent you from meeting your Prince or Princess.
13. Lastly the most important step is to fill your body with lot's of nutrients. This does not mean putting yourself on a diet. Just try and introduce more fruit, veggies, nuts, vitamins etc to your body. Don't forget to drink plenty of water and try and avoid too much sugar. Go easy on the alcohol because as we all know it's a depressant. Junk Food=Junk Thoughts. Healthy food = healthy thoughts.
At the end of the day please remember words are cheap and just because someone says something hurtful to you doesn't mean it's true. Words do cut deep but at the end of the day it's just someones opinion of you and that should have no bearing on how you feel about yourself. If someone can't value you for how unique and amazing you are then they're not worth your time and energy anyway. If you are feeling like you can't climb out of that black hole then please speak to your doctor and get some help. I know it can be an extremely hard step in your recovery process but it's ok to ask for help. This doesn't mean that your a failure or a loser. Your amazing and brave for wanting to make your life better. One day your going to look back and reflect on your situation and laugh at how wrong this person was for you. Work on making yourself happy and everything else will fall into place for you.
Love Prue xoxo